Matsalolin ma’aurata wajan mazan auransu basa gamsar da junansu ga hanya mafi sauki wan magance matsalarku

Matsalolin ma’aurata wajan mazan auransu basa gamsar da junansu ga hanya mafi sauki wan magance matsalarku

#Matsala #1
#Dacewa
Babbar matsala ta farko da ake samu a Rayuwar Aure shine idan ya kasance ka auri macen da bata dace da kai saboda daya daga cikin wadannan dalilai:

1. Macen da aka aura maka ita ba dan tana sonka ba, sai san anfi qarfinta a gidansu.

2. Macen da ka aura wacce ka tabbata dan abin duniya (kudi, suna, sarauta dss) ta aure ka.

3. Macen da kaima ba dan soyayya ka aure ta ba sai dan sha’awa, kyawunta, dangantakarta dss.

4. Macen da kake tunanin ta aure ka ne kawai saboda bata da wani zabin.

5. Macen da bata gama yin hankali ba.
Wadannan da ma sauran dalilai da yawa wanda sukan kawo rashin dacewa tsakanin ma’aura suna kawo babbar matsala a Rayuwar Aure, wanda yawanci sai bayan anyi auren ake gane haka, lokacin da an riga an makara da ayi wani gyara akai. Saboda haka ina kira garemu ‘Yan Mata da Samari mu daure mu yaqi zuciyoyinmu mu auri masoyan da muka tabbatar zabin zuciyoyinmu ne kuma sun dace damu domin samun ingantacciyar Rayuwar Aure!

#Halayen Boye
Samari da ‘yan mata kowa yana iya qoqarinsa wajen ganin ya nunawa masoyinsa halin kirki a lokacin neman aure. Daga cikin matsalolin da ake samu a cikin Rayuwar Aure musamman a farko-farkonta shine a lokacin da ma’auratan suka fara gane halayen juna na gaskiya, wadanda a lokacin da zumar soyayya take dibarsu basu san dashi ba, hakan yakan kawo canji ga irin girma da mutuncin da ma’auratan zasu dinga bawa junansu, musamman idan akayi rashin sa’a daya daga cikinsu ya zamo yana da wani hali na qyama wanda da yake boyewa.

Shawarar da zan bayar anan shine sai mu dinga kulawa sosai a lokacin neman aure, samun kusanci da mutanen gidan masoyan namu ta hanyar qannenshi/ta da abokanshi/qawayenta zai taimaka wajen sanin wanda/muke tare dashi/ita da irin halayensu.
Gaskiya dokin qarfe, idan ka zamo mai gaskiya da halin qwarai to ba ka da tsoron komai a tare dakai!

#Matsala #3
#Mulkin Gida
A duk inda taro ya kai mutum biyu to ya kamata ace akwai shugaba wanda za’a iya cewa shine babba, haka ma a Rayuwar Aure dole a samu jagoran tafiya. Sanin kowa ne cewa a Addini da al’ada miji shine yake da mallakin gida, shi yasa ma ake kiransa da MAIGIDA.

Daga cikin matsalolin da akan samu daga wajen wadansu matan shine wai su baza su bari wani ya dinga nuna iko akansu ba, suna ganin idan suna bin maigida sahu da qafa kamar sun fado, za’a mayar da su kamar bayi! Wannan batu kuwa ba haka yake ba, dole ne mata kuyi haquri da yadda addini da al’ada ta tsara akan cewa maza sune shugabanni a Rayuwar Aure, ta haka ne kawai zaku iya cika haqqoqin auren da suke kanku; har ma ku zamo masu biyayya ga mazan auren naku, sai Allah ya baku lada.

Duk macen da take ganin ba zata iya yiwa namiji biyayya ba saboda tana ganin itama ta waye to lallai kuwa fitina baza ta taba qarewa a gidanta ba, irinsu ne zaka ga ko da Allah ya basu zuriyya to haka suma ‘ya’yan zasu taso irin halin mahaifiyar tasu. Saboda haka ina kira ga MATA IYAYEN GIDA da ku daure kuyi biyayya ga mazan aurenku dan samun ingantacciyar Rayuwar Aure, mu kuma maza muji tsoron Allah kada muyi amfani da wannan dama mu cutar dasu matan auren namu. Allah yasa mu dace baki daya.

“`Wasu Abubuwan 12 Da Mata Suka Tsana A Lokacin Jima’i“`

☛ a dinga kulawa da wanna Domin a gyara irin wanna matsala a cikin al’umma mu na aure.

Sau tari, maza magidanta sukan yi wasu abubuwan da matansu suka tsana ko suke ki a yayin da suke gudanar da jima’i, sai dai kuma kadan ne daga cikin matan sukan iya fitowa fili su nunawa mazajen nasu rashin
jin dadinsu ga irin wadannan dabi’on ko halayen.

Ire-ire wadannan halayen na wasu mazan yakan kuntatawa mata, hakan kuma yakan yi sanadiyar samar masu da rashin gamsuwa a lokuta da dama yayi gudanar da jima’i da mazajensu.
Ga jerin wasu abubuwan 12 da mata suka tsana kamin, lokaci da kuma bayan kammala jima’i.

☛1-Rashin Tsafta-
Wasu mazan basu iya tsaftace jikinsu kamin su tinkari matansu da jima’i. Ana samun wasu mazanma a lokacin da suka shiga wankasu na jima’i, basa kula da mahimman wuraren da ya kamata su tsaftacesu da kyau ganin mahimmancin su a lokacin gudanar da jima’i.
Wurare irin su baki, hamata, matsaimatsi, da kuma ‘ya’yan maraina, wurarene da mata suke matukar son ji da ganinsu a tsaftace a duk lokacin da mazansu suka tinkaro su a jima’ince.
Don haka rashin tsaftacesu, yakan hana mace samun jindadi kamin da kuma lokacin gudanar da jima’i.

☛2-Wasanni Motsa Sha’awa-
Wasu mazan sam basu da al’adar motsawa matansu sha’awarsu ta jima’i ta hanyar wasannin motsa sha’awa, yadda zai sa mace sha’awarta ya matsa sosai ta kuma ji ta kamu da bukatar mijinta.
Mata da dama sun koka ta yadda mazansu da sun tashi gudanar da jima’i dasu sai dai kawai su musu hawan kawara ba tare da motsa musu sha’awa ba, wanda hakan yasa mata da suke fuskantar irin wannan matsalar suke tsanar yin jima’i a lokuta da dama. Mata suna sha’awar ayi musu wasanni da dama kamin a soma gudanar da jima’i dasu.

☛3-Rashin Maida Hankali-
Mata sun tsani a lokacin da za a soma ko ake jima’i dasu hankalin namiji ya koma wani wajen. Mace na bukatar ganin mijinta ya tattara hankalinsa gaba daya a kanta kamin, lokacin ko bayan kammala jima’i da ita.

Don haka ne mata suka tsani namiji yana amsa waya ko kallon talabijin, ko kuma yin wani batun da bashi da alaka da abunda suke gudanarwa a wannan lokacin.
Dole muddin namiji yana son ganin ya gamsar da matarsa, to ya maida hankalinsa gaba daya a kanta a yayin da yake tare da ita.

☛4-Lokacin Yin Jima’i- Kashi 80 cikin 100 na mata sunfi sha’awar a yi jima’i dasu ne a lokaci suke da sha’awar yi ba a lokacin da basu da sha’awa ba.
Mata sun tsani namiji ya tilastasu yin jima’i ba tare da suna da bukatar yin shi ba a wannan lokacin.
Don haka yana da kyau maza suyi la’akari da lokacin da mace take sha’awar jin jima’i da kanta, domin ta hakan ne maigida zai iya samun biyan bukatar da za a sakar masa jiki sosai. Gani a akwai wasu lokutan da mace batada sha’awar jima’i a rayuwanta.

☛5-Yanayin Kwanciya- Duk mace tana son mijinta ya saduda ita da yanayin da yafi mata dadi kuma yake sauki da saurin gamsar da ita.
Mata sun tsani mazajensu su kwanta dasu a yanayin da basu jin dadinsa wanda hakan yake sa mace ta tsani gudanar da jima’in ko kuma ta kasa samun gamsuwa.
Don haka yana da kyau maza su kula kuma suyi la’akari da yanayin kwanciyar da mace ta tsana da kuma wanda tafi sha’awa a yayin jima’i.

➜6- Sauke nauyinka a kanta-
Maza musamman masu nauyin jiki, sukan cutar da matansu a lokacin da suka sauke nauyinsu akanasu a yayin gudanar da jima’i. Hakan na hana macen ta samu sararin sarrafa jikinta yadda take bukata.
Maza masu tunbi ko girman jiki su rika amfani ne da yanayin kwanciyar jima’in da bazai takura matansu ba.

➜7- Saurin Zuwan-
Dukkannin mata sun tsani mazansu suyi zuwan kai da wuri a yayin gudanar da jima’i, wanda hakan yana matukar cutar da mace a rauyuwar, don haka wasu matan suka gwammace zama da rashin jima’i maimakon yin jima’in da namiji mai saurin zuwa.

Dole ne maza masu irin wannan matsalar suyi kokarin ganin likita domin samo magani.

➜8- Yin Shuru- Mata suna son jin namiji yana sumbatu a lokacin da yake saduwa dasu.

Mata sun tsani mazansu na saduwa dasu
suna gum da baki tamkar kurma. Don haka yin sumbatu a yayin jima’i da mace, yana kara mata kwarin gwaiwa dama gamsar da ita a wasu lokutan.

➜9-Rashin Alamta Zuwan kai- Mata sun tsani mazansu suyi zuwan kai ba tare da sunyi musu wata inkiyar da zata nuna masu cewa suna kan hanyar zuwa ba.

Alamta zuwan kai wajen namiji a yayin saduwa da matarsa itama yana kara mata wani jin dadin. Yana da kyau namiji yayi nuna wani alamin a lokacin da yake kan hanyar zuwa da kuma bayan zuwar tasa.
➜10- Saurin Tashi- Mata sun tsani namiji da zaran ya biya bukatarsa yayi saurin tashi daga jikinta.

Mace tana bukatar tabbatar da cewa na
miji yana tare da ita koma yana cikinta bayan ya biya tasa bukatar. Domin a wannnan yanayin tana iya samun gamsu idan mai gida ya rigata.

➜11- Zuwan kai a waje- Mata sun tsani namiji yayi zuwan kai a wajen farjinsu ba a cikinsa sai dai idan ita ce ta bukaci yin hakan saboda wasu dalilai.

➜12- Rashin Sadarwan Jima”I- Maza da dama basu da al’adar yin sadarwan jima’i da matayensu kamin, lokaci da kuma bayan kamala kwanciya irin na jima’i. Yana da kyau kasan abunda matarka takeso ko ta tsana a lokacin gudanar da jima’i.
Wannan tattaunawar zai baiwa mace daman bayyana maka abubuwan da ke mata dadi a lokacin wasannin motsa sha’awa, lokacin gudanar da jima’i da bayan kammala shi domin ka kaucewa abunda bata so ka kuma inganta abunda take so.

*SIRRIN MAZA*

Hakika namiji yana da wani sirrin Wanda ba kowacce mace ta San wadannan sirrin ba Sai wacce Allah ya sanar da ita, shi namiji ya kasance Mai tsanani son karairaya, rangwada, kissa,shagwaba, da kalaman soyayya, duk macen data San wadannan kuma take aikatasu hakika zata zama tauraruwa a zuciyar mijinta.
Babu KO shakka wadannan kam Na Daga cikin abubuwa mafi muhimmanci dake taka muhimmiyar rawa wajen sace zuciyar namiji ,ya kasance kin tanadi wani suna Na musamman da Zaki dinga kiran mijinki dashi kamar

● sweety
● honey
● darling
● Abin kaunata
● farin cikin rai Na.

Magana ta gaskiya a wannan fannin a nan ne aka yiwa matan hausawa nisa , don da yawa sune basu dauki hakan a wani Abu Mai muhimmanci dake Iya jefa tsantsar sonki a zuciyar mijinki ba.
Dole a matsayin ki Na macen da ke son ta mallaki mijinta saifa ta dage wajen Iya kalaman soyayya don sune masu kwantarwa da namiji hankali koda kuwa an bata masa rai KO hankalinsa ya tashi.

Sannnan yana Daga cikin namiji ki Iya gabatar da zahirin soyayya, hakika tsakaninki da mijinki bafa jin kunya, ki Saki jikinki ki nuna masa soyayya, domin duk wani hade-hade da manne-manne da zakiyi idan Har baki Iya kalaman soyayya ba da ita kanta soyayyar to gaskiya da sauranki.

Misali idan ya kasance Ku biyu ne akayi sa’a baki iyaba KO kuma kice kina jin kunya Amma ita abokiyar zamanki ta Iya Sai kiga yana zumudi a duk lokacin da akace yaune ranar kwananta.
Don haka dole Sai kin dage kin jajirce kin Iya salo-salo Na soyayya.

Sannan Daga cikin sirrin namiji a wajen jima’i karki zauna shirim baki tabuka komai, ya kasance kema kanki kina gabatar da salo Na shagwaba da duk wani yanayi da zai Iya Saki nuna masa cewa kefa kina jin dadin wannan jima’i dashi.

RASHIN SHA’AWAR NAMIJI A WAJEN MACE

NEMI ILIMI KAFIN AIKI DASHI RAYUWAR MA’AURATA

Dukkan mace matar aure ko budurwa data samu kanta a yanayi na rashin sha awar namiji to gaskiya ta hadu da kalubale a bangaren zaman aure Zata fuskanci rashin kulawa a wajen mijinta musamman idan ya fahimci batajin dadin saduwa dashi ballantana ace tanada kishiya shiyasa mata masu dabara basa nunawa namiji suna cikin wannan halin kokarinsu su gamsar dashi da abinda yakeso Hakika wasu matan tun suna yan mata suke kashe kansu da shan wasu magunguna marasa inganci da sunan ya rage musu sha awa wasu har jar kanwa suke jikawa da lemon tsami sunasha don ya rage musu sha awarsu kuma wannan duk kuskurene idan har bazaki iya azumiba to ki ajiye burin rayuwa kiyi aure domin ita Sha awa ajikin mace ko namiji ba cuta bace amma rashinta kuma cutace bazaki gane hakanba saita faru dake koda yake namiji be cika damuwa don bashida sha awar maceba amma kuma matarsa zata rasa kulawa To idan akace rashin sha awa ga mace ko rashin jin dadin jima i to ya hada abubuwa da yawa amma masana sirrin jima i suna takkaita bayanin gida uku kamar haka.

(1) akwai wacce tana sha awar namiji hasalima ko zancen jima i tayi da namiji koda a wayane ko a chat zataji farjinta ya jike alamun sha awa zata bayyana a fuskarta zataji sha war namiji ya sadu da ita amma da zaran na miji ya saka azzakarinsa a farjinta saita rasa ina dadin yake ita wannan tana bukatar kyakyawar kulawar soyayya a wajen mijinta ya kamata mijinki yasan hanyoyin Wato sarrafa mace da sanin wurarenda mace takeso namiji ya taba ajikinta musamman lokacin jima i kuma soyayya itama tanada muhimmanci awannan lokacin wato tana saka mace jindadin jima’i.

(2) sannan akwai wacce ita kuma kwata kwata bata sha awa ita ko za ayi wata daya ko biyu ba a tabataba batada matsala idan kin samu kanki acikin wannan halin akwai tambaya akanki kina mafarkin namiji? kinada jinnu ma ana suna tashi? idan duk babu daya to kici gaba da shan maganin karin sha awa amma wanda zaki hada da kanki wannan duk muna bayaninsu apost to idan kuma kina mafarki ko kinada jinnu suma suna daukewa mace sha awa ta zahiri saboda surinka saduwa da ita amafarki sannan zasu iya barin mijinki ya rinka jin dadinki idan sunga dama shima su hanashi saiya rinka jinki salam kamar ba maceba ko kuma su hanaki ni ima lokacin saduwa saiki bushe sai anyi da karfi ta shiga gaskkiya wannan matsalace kuma wani lokacin sihiri akeyiwa mace hakan take faruwa kiyi kokari ayi miki rukuya wacce ta dace da sunna kema kici gaba da addu a kuma kina kwaciya da alwaa idan zaki kwanta ki karanta wasu ayoyi daga cikin qur ani sannan kina share shimfida kafin kwanciya kuma keda mai gida ku rinka addu a kafin ku fara jima i insha allahu zakiyi mamaki

(3) haka kuma akwai mace wacce tana sha awar namiji amma ta fiso ya saka mata yatsa a farjinta tafi jindadi idan ya saka mata azzakarinsa sai taji dadin ya ragu kuma irinsu zaka samesu da bushewar. farji to irin wannan itamma tana bukatar kulawa ta musamman daga wajen mijinta sannan kada kiyi.

wasa da gyaran jiki da kuma tsaftar farji to amma inaso ki gane shifa jin dadin jima i ya danganta dagake wato ina nufin yaya sha awarki take yawan sha awarki shine yawan jindadinki yana iyakasancewa haka allah ya haliccceki dama sha awarki gajeriyace ba iirin ta sauran mataba sai kiji kawarki tana baki labari jin dadinda takeyi a wajen jima i to zai iya kasancewa dama ta fiki sha awa ko kuma tafiki samun kulawa a wajen mijinta kinga kada kice dole sai kinji dadi irin nata….

NAU’O’IN GWAJE-GWAJEN LAFIYA KAFIN AURE

Masana sun bayyana cewa ana yin gwaje-gwajen lafiya ne kafin aure a kan nau’o’in cututtuka guda biyar:
1. Gwaji don tabbatar da ku6uta daga cututtukan da ke qetare mai shi zuwa waninsa a dalilin mu’amala ta jima’i (Sexually Transmittable Diseases – STDs), kamar:
HIV,
Hepatitis B,
Hepatitis C,
Gonorrhoea,
Syphilis.

2. Gwaji game da rukunin kwayoyin halitta (genes) don sanin Genotype din masu niyyar yin aure a matsayin “AA”, “AS”, ko “SS” don tabbatar da ku6uta daga cututtukan da ke bin hanyoyin jini wajen yin naso da shafar abokin zama ko ‘ya‘yan da za a haifa kamar cutar Anaemia (sickle cell disease).

3. Gwaji don gane rukunin jini: ‘A’, ‘B’, ‘0’ ko ‘AB’, da danginsa na Rhesus factor (positive, ‘+’ ko negative, ‘-‘). Kasancewar bincike ya nuna cewa macen da ke qarqashin dangin jini na Negative idan ta aure wanda ke qarqashin Positive, tana iya fuskantar hatsarin yawan zubewar ciki ko mutuwar dan da ke cikin mahaifa (intrauterine death). Gudanar da irin wannan gwajin na da muhimmanci.

4. Gwaji don tabbatar da rashin aibobin da ke sa a kai ga raba aure a tsakanin miji da mata, kamar cututtukan da ke iya jawo rashin haihuwa, da kuturta, da wasu nau’o’in cutar daji (cancer) masu hatsari, da cutar qoda.

5. Gwaji game da cututtukan da a ke gado, wadanda aka ce a yanzu adadinsu ya kai 8000. Irin wadannan cututtuka sun hada da ciwon hauka, da ciwon ido da ‘ya‘ya ke iya gado daga iyaye kamar glaucoma.

Allah ya mudace ameeeen Suma ameeen.